38 days into the new year, and I've learned more in those six weeks than I did in the past few years of my teenage life.

Eight days ago, I turned nineteen. Yech. Nineteen. That's only ONE number before twenty. Twenty. That's ancient. That's a whole new first digit. That's a whole new tens number.

I remember thinking how I thought 16 was old.

Princess Aurora met her Prince Charming and got married at 16. Princess Ariel married Prince Eric at 16.

What was I doing at that age? Looking for a prom date. CAN YOU SAY PATHETIC?

And now I've surpassed eighteen, the legal age of getting married, having kids, and so much more, and I haven't even met my Prince Charming yet.

I'm in no rush really, but then like when I look around, I see all these people in love, holding hands, and it's just annoying!

I've got friends who've been together for four years, and they're in a LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP! I mean who can beat that?

So now, everyone's been telling me to enjoy my last year as a teenager. Next year, I'll be joining the not so elusive club of twenty-something year olds. Like, I'm already lying about my age now, what more when I turn twenty?

I remember I thought Enrique was SOO OLD when he turned twenty last September. Like, "Ohmygosh you're twenty and you're just starting college!!" And now it's so cool because he took his time and he's so ready for college, and he's totally into it. Unlike us, his friends stuck back here who have to go to college because they have to, you know what I mean?

Like Jacky, Mike, and I were talking about how we're so unhappy in school because we don't really know what we want or what we want to take. I mean, I'm in Psych because I think it's what people normally take when they're undecided. Mike's in Management because it's the typical Chinese course (sorry, but it's true, yeah?), and none of us know (including Jacky) why she's in MAC. I'd love to say that I'm talking about the make up, unfortunately that's Management with Applied Chemistry. Okay, so maybe it's not that bad, I just had a really really REALLY bad experience with Chemistry in junior year, despite getting into the Top 10 Investigative Researches of the batch.

So anyway, we're all so undecided, and here are our New Yorker friends who worked their asses off all through out high school to get where they are now, and we're just jealous. Like, crazy jealous. I mean, they know what they want to do now, and for the rest of their lives. And here we are, still in the dark.

Like, they complain about being so lonely, and it being hard living away from their families and friends, and I have no doubts about that, I'm sure it really is hard. But then if you're living out your dream, why be scared right? It's all part of the experience.

These are but some of my realizations now, more to come tomorrow when I'm not too pooped from training anymore. Buhbye.